Despite what you may think, studies show that breakups may be harder on men than on women. Gender expectations still linger well into the twenty-first century. While women cry, call their friends, and eat ice cream, men tend to cover up their feelings. That means they often receive less social support and maybe even fewer desserts.
If you’re a man who is nursing a broken heart, take a look at these proven tips to help you move on. They’re sure to help you heal faster and prepare for lasting love.
Manly Steps to Take
Embrace your feelings. Forget about toughing it out. The first step in managing your emotions is to accept them. You may find that you’re feeling sad, angry, and lonely.
Talk it out. Now that you’ve leveled with yourself, you can share your struggles with family and friends who can support you. Let them know how they can help you.
Take responsibility. Maybe your ex-wife had an affair with your best friend and put your dog up for adoption. You’ll still benefit from holding yourself accountable for your role in the relationship so you can identify your strengths and weaknesses.
Remove triggers. Clearing out mementos of your time together may reduce the pain. Take her notes off the refrigerator door and box up her shoes until she comes back to collect them. Remove those island vacation photos from your phone.
Develop healthy habits. After a divorce, men are more likely than women to neglect their health. Focus on eating nutritious foods and exercising regularly.
Fill up your time. Stay busy. An afternoon playing tennis will lift your spirits more than sitting around watching TV and drinking beer.
Work on yourself. When you’re feeling stable, you can begin to set new goals. This could be a good time to learn a foreign language or practice Tai Chi.
Enjoy being single. Proceed at your own pace. Learning to be happy on your own will help you to find a new relationship that fulfills your needs instead of repeating past mistakes. Take a solo vacation in the mountains or master some new recipes.
Start dating. Remember that you are worthy of love. Sign up at an online dating site where you can clarify what you’re looking for in a relationship and meet other singles. Practice striking up conversations with interesting strangers at your local coffee shop.
Manly Steps to Take with Your Ex
- Limit contact. Calling each other daily will interfere with making a fresh start. Try cutting out any unnecessary communications, at least temporarily.
Stop idealizing. Hollywood movies like to suggest that we have only one soulmate. In reality, there are plenty of compatible singles for you to meet.
Respect her privacy. The internet and mutual friends make it easy to monitor what your ex is doing. Resist the temptation to go there. You’ll feel better if you focus on building a brighter future rather than longing for what’s past.
Wish her well. The sooner you can feel kindly towards your ex or at least neutral, the quicker you can move on. Remember that forgiving others gives you peace of mind.
Breaking up is hard to do whether you’re a woman or a man. Be brave enough to evaluate your relationship patterns, and strong enough to change them. You’ll soon be on your way to a more satisfying love life.