There are many disadvantages to feeling anger. It’s a quick way to damage relationships. It also disengages the part of your brain that’s used to make rational decisions. We often do and say detrimental things when we’re angry.
How many times do you wish you could take back something you said? It only takes a few seconds to cause a lot of damage and pain. Avoiding this type of situation is a good enough reason to work on your anger management skills.
The ability to manage your emotional states is a valuable skill that will serve you well throughout your lifetime.
Practice these strategies to become a master of your anger:
1. Monitor your mental state. Notice when you’re starting to feel agitated. Anger is much easier to control if caught early. Once you’re in the middle of an episode of full-blown rage, it becomes more challenging.
* Monitor all your negative emotions. They’re all easier to manage when they first appear. As they gain strength, the tools available to manage them become less likely to work.
2. Learn to let go and avoid holding a grudge. Grudges are a great way to keep yourself primed to feel angry with little provocation. Let go of your anger and forgive. You’ll feel better and life will be more enjoyable. You’re only hurting yourself when you hold a grudge.
3. Take a deep breath. In fact, try taking 10 deep breaths. A slow, deep breath while thinking the word “relax” can make a difference.
* The quicker you can catch your anger, the better this technique will work. As soon as you feel yourself becoming angry, take a few deep breaths. This requires practice.
4. Give yourself a timeout. You don’t have to be a child to take a timeout. You have the luxury of giving yourself a timeout regardless of your age. A few minutes of alone time can be just the ticket to managing your anger successfully.
5. Think. Consider the long-term ramifications of what you’re about to say. This is incredibly challenging. Anger makes it much more difficult to think and be rational. Again, the quicker you catch yourself becoming angry, the more likely you’ll be able to use the technique.
6. Be more flexible in your views. What causes anger? It’s caused by others failing to do what you think they should do. They’ve said or done something that fails to meet your expectations. The more open minded you are, the less likely you are to get angry.
7. Be a good listener. It’s hard to become angry if you’re doing a good job of listening. It’s only when you take your attention off the other person that you have the opportunity to think and generate anger. You’re also less likely to jump to the wrong conclusion if you’re listening intently. Work on your listening skills.
8. Learn to share your thoughts and feelings in a calm manner. Assert yourself and let people know what you’re thinking without becoming more emotional than necessary. Start by being more assertive in common matters of your daily life.
9. Get professional help. If you’ve tried everything you can think of and you’re still struggling to manage your anger, get help from an expert. You hire experts to fix your car and manage your legal issues. There’s no reason not to hire someone to help with your anger issues.
Taken to the extreme, anger can be dangerous to those around you and yourself. Even mild anger can be harmful to relationships and your career.
Avoid allowing anger to make your life more challenging. There are many tricks and tips you can use to manage anger yourself, but seek professional assistance if you’re failing to make sufficient progress.