Are you wondering whether your partner has lost that loving feeling? You used to text each other ten times a day. Now, you wonder if he lost his phone. She told you that she wanted you to see her parent’s summer place, but these days she’s leaving you out of her future plans.
Whether you want to revive your romance or just figure out where you stand, it can be disturbing when you suspect that your relationship is slipping away.
Ponder these suggestions for what to do when it looks like the honeymoon is over. They’ll help you cope with restoring your connection or preparing to move on.
Steps to Take for Yourself
The more your partner pulls away, the more you may be tempted to obsess about them. However, taking a good look at yourself can help you to make more rational decisions.
1. Check for patterns. Have you been down this road before? A series of infatuations that cool off after a few dates could suggest that you need to be more selective. If you gravitate towards lovers who belittle you, you may be unconsciously repeating childhood experiences.
2. Stay busy. It’s easier to have healthy relationships when you devote adequate time and energy to your other responsibilities and interests. Fill your time with meaningful activities instead of wondering what your partner is doing.
3. Hang out with friends. You’ll also have more to contribute to a romance when you maintain close ties with family and friends. Take an evening or weekend off to socialize on your own.
4. Set limits. In an ideal world, your partner will tactfully tell you what’s on their mind. In reality, they may not be able to articulate their feelings or they may shrink away from conflicts. In that case, you’ll need to decide when it’s no longer a good fit for you.
5. Look ahead. Value yourself. Give yourself credit for taking a chance on love. Take the time you need to heal, and reflect on what you’ve learned. Then, start dating again with a clearer picture of what you want.
Steps to Take for Your Relationship
Depending on your response, you can make your relationship a positive experience whether it lasts one week or many years. Try to treat your partner with respect and kindness even when you’re feeling confused.
1. Talk it over. Aim for a non-threatening conversation. Ask direct questions without assigning any blame. Knowing the truth will be more productive than catastrophizing or doubting yourself.
2. Listen closely. Romantic relationships often touch upon our most sensitive personal issues. Be open to what your partner has to say. You may learn valuable information about yourself.
3. Pace yourself. One of the most common reasons a love interest backs off is because they feel rushed. Honor your needs without bringing up marriage and children during the first date.
4. Be supportive. You may be so relieved to find someone compatible that you’re relying on them too much too soon. Be honest about your expectations and how much you’re really giving.
5. Try new things. Maybe you still love each other, but your routine has become a little stale. Schedule date nights. Sign up for samba lessons.
6. Consider counseling. Relationships can be complicated. Talking with a therapist could be a wise investment if it helps you to resolve chronic issues.
Relationships go through stages. This may be a period of temporary awkwardness that will ultimately bring you closer together. On the other hand, this may be a time to wish each other well and look elsewhere for the love you deserve.