Getting Beyond Heartbreak

Love is a risky proposition. The risks are significant, but the rewards are even greater. As hard as it is to heal from a broken heart, getting past your heartbreak makes love possible in the future. The risks are lowered when you’re able to move forward effectively after a failed relationship.

Move beyond your heartbreak and love again:

1. Take the time you need. While the common advice is to get back on the horse and find someone that’s even better, take a break. Until you’ve pulled yourself together, you’re unlikely to make wise choices. It also isn’t fair to the next person that falls for you.

2. Determine why the relationship failed. It would be a shame to repeat your past mistakes. Take this opportunity to reflect and learn from your painful experience. Is there anything you can do to prevent the same result from occurring again in the future? Many relationship challenges fall into one of the following categories:

* Choosing the wrong type of person for you
* Communication issues

* Personal issues that require resolution

* Poor relationship skills

* A lack of time

3. Cease all contact. If you have children with your ex, this won’t apply. However, in most cases, it’s best to stop emailing, talking on the phone, texting, and so on. It’s harder to get over the breakup if you remain in contact.

4. Get rid of everything that reminds you of them. That includes the pictures, love letters, Christmas presents, and the like. You probably want to save a few mementos of your time together, but they won’t matter to you in a year. Do you still have items lying around from your relationship of 5 years ago?

* If you can’t bring yourself to throw them away, at least box them up and put them in the back of the closet. See how much they mean to you in 6 months.

5. Turn to your friends. Our natural reaction to a breakup is to isolate ourselves. This rarely helps. Avoid sitting around the house by yourself. Get out and be social. Call your friends and suggest a night on the town. Meet for lunch. Spend time with those who care about you.

6. Avoid the urge to overanalyze the situation. It’s human nature to analyze every minute detail of the relationship, but there are rarely answers to be found in overanalyzing. You’ll likely confuse yourself, come the wrong conclusions, and make poor choices going forward.

7. Spend time on self-development. Instead of sulking, spend the time working on yourself. Now is the perfect time to get in shape, work on your career, take care of any financial issues, or grow your social circle.

* It’s also a great way to get over your ex. We tend to date people similar to ourselves in many ways. Our partners tend to make similar incomes, have a similar level of attractiveness, and similar levels of overall success.

* We often don’t feel comfortable dating someone who is doing significantly better than we are. And dating someone struggling more than we are isn’t an attractive option either. Enhance your life, and your standards will rise, too.

Dealing with heartache is a part of living. Getting over a breakup isn’t fun, but a day will come when you go 24 hours without thinking about them. Then a week will pass. Eventually, they’ll just be a distant memory as you move forward with a more joyous life.

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